“I do not prefer  being this way.  I do not prefer to see every statement of mine intricately and judge your response. I prefer to be more cooler and let things go. In fact that was how I was before. When you started falling in love with me. I was cool about it. I was obviously happy and you were obviously pretty. But then when we touched each other I thought I was in love. Love was pushed on me. I did not go away, I welcomed it. I gave it time and warmth. But then if you expect I will still be the same with you. If you still want me to treat you as a normal friend and if you still never want to show your love in public, it forces me to judge you. It forces me to run every detail in mind and find reasons for your actions and your responses. And it’s never been easy to talk to you because you somehow did not want to hurt me. You did not want to hurt me by saying that this was destined to end so dont get emotional about this. That 10% of hurt you saved me from and it doesnt matter now. I would definitely have appreciated you being upfront with your desires. I was not like this analyzing and critisizing everything you do, If I would be,  you would never come close to me. But when I have to fight with you to kiss you , yes, it does make me rethink what I feel about it. Run the tapes , our tapes in my mind and find  loose endings, signs of you eventually going away. And yes, I find many, but I was too much engrossed in you to see in any direction. Blame it on me or you. So now see what has happened. I get to talk so many things without your intervention. And yes you have complaints too. Like why did I let everybody know, or why did I share our secrets. I guess because I did not have a blog that time. Or i didnt have the time to use one because either I was in a party drinking or I was with you. I did nothing for an year and it passed by real fast. The thing they say about relativity and time. I have no regrets. But I have nothing special left too. I am a vocal person and I can’t keep my fears to myself. I need to share them with people or here on the blog. So there is nothing to take personally here because if I had shared anything all of it was true. And this and that and again maybe we will meet someday. I have no complaints and I have no love for you in my heart. ”

“Can you like stop. It isnt easy like this. It’s best if we stop talking”

The phone was cut and from that day they never talked to each other. They never fought nor did they ever hear each other’s voices.